Song Review: Wannabe by Tom MacDonald

         We’re back for another Friday, and another Tom MacDonald song review.  Today we are going to go a bit back in time to one of Tom’s older song.  As of this posting this song and video came out 10 years ago.  This song is technically one that came out before Tom popped off as a popular rapper talking about current events of today.  

        The song we are looking at is called “Wannabe.”  I have linked the music video down below, as well as a direct link to the video, and have copied out the lyrics for you.  Before ready my analysis and review of the lyrics check out the awesome video that came with it.

Wannabe music video

 

        I have copied out the lyrics here for you.  Read through them if you’d like.  If you’ve just watched the video than feel free to scroll on down to the review part of the post.

[Intro]

This is my song, yeah

This is my song, yeah, yeah

This is my song and I'm dancin' with the Devil

On a highway to hell in the middle of the road

This is my time to decide

[Verse 1]

Uh, Devil in my mind now

Monogamy isn't the only thing I've been lyin' 'bout

I'm in the belly of the beast and I'm ridin' 'round

Rope in my hand, should I hang myself or climb out?

I feel like everyone around me 'bout to make it

And I'm busy with some bitch I only fuck with when I'm faded

They say I'll grow to be a monster, but I am one

Why the fuck you think I've been callin' myself "LeeAnn's Son"?

I ain't Thomas anymore, I ain't honest anymore

I don't give a shit about a broken promise anymore

I got back home from tour like a month ago

And I been in the club gettin' drunk since a month ago

I lost the only girl I've ever loved, bet you knew it

'Cause I said a million times, and now it's true

I swore that she would never ever come before my music

And now I see that every rapper sing the same tune

[Chorus]

This is my song and I'm dancin' with the Devil

On a highway to hell in the middle of the road

This is my time to decide if I'm gonna be a better man

Or cover everything I own in gold

This is not the way

This is not the way

This is not the way

That I, that I, that I, that I... wannabe

[Verse 2]

There's rappers in the city that been talkin' shit

And gangs that's in the city, y'all been talkin' 'bout it too

There's women in the city I been fuckin' with on weekends

While I'm out late with my friends, but I'm still in love with who... hates me

I'm guilty and I'm sure it's slowly killin' me

I'ma take the fall and all responsibility

Uh, Jesus in my heart now

I heard he walked with you, I'll bring the car around

Cause I don't have the time or the energy

To forget about the past or forgive myself for anything, I'm waitin' for it

I just cut this whole tape on a party tip

And now I'm like what the fuck, when's the fuckin' party end?

When I wanted to be good, no one else was

When I wanted to be rich, they wouldn't sell drugs

When she wanted us together, man, I guess I didn't

When I needed her to find me, she went missin'

[Chorus]

This is my song and I'm dancin' with the Devil

On a highway to hell in the middle of the road

This is my time to decide if I'm gonna be a better man

Or cover everything I own in gold

This is not the way

This is not the way

This is not the way

That I, that I, that I, that I... wannabe

[Bridge]

This is not the way

This is not the way

This is not the way

That I, that I, that I, that I... wannabe

This is not the way, let it go now

This is not the way, let it go now

[Verse 3]

Uh, I'm 24 and I'm real enough to say

If I don't make it big by 30 I'ma kill myself

I bet you think that's just some super high thoughts

But I ain't made for a full time position at a real job

I was built to fit perfect in a Maserati

And to be the drunkest at the Grammy after party

I'm in this quiet grey area, no feelin's

I'm in a loud grey Acura, no ceilin's

I been tryna figure out how to do it different

I broke too many hearts and never been religious

I'm all alone and all my friends are in the room

I don't wear wolves or fur but I'm howlin' at the moon, loud

I just don't know what to do now

I should move on while there's no house to move out

Too many wannabes are livin' in my neighborhood

And I refuse to let them call me neighbors 'cause I'm really good

        Let’s take a look at the first part of the song.  In the intro of “Wannabe,” Tom MacDonald opens with a declaration of ownership over his life and the challenges he faces, framing it as his personal song. The imagery of “dancin’ with the Devil” and being “on a highway to hell in the middle of the road” powerfully captures his internal struggle, torn between right and wrong. This metaphor of dancing with the Devil highlights the temptation and destructive choices he’s grappling with. However, the line “This is my time to decide” signals a pivotal moment where he acknowledges that he alone has control over his path forward, emphasizing the theme of personal responsibility and the battle to overcome his demons.

        In the first verse Tom confronts his inner demons and mental health struggles, expressing a deep sense of confusion about his identity and the life he’s created.  He admits to lies and destructive behaviors, including infidelity and substance abuse, revealing how these choices have left him trapped in “the belly of the beast.”  The line “should I hang myself or climb out?” starkly illustrates his battle between self destruction and wanting to change.  He compares himself to others who appear to be succeeding, while he is stuck in meaningless relationships and self destruction.  Tom also reflects on his emotional detachment, revealing that he is no longer the person he once was and doesn’t care about breaking promises or the consequences of those actions.  His heartbreak over losing the woman he loves adds a sense of regret, as he realizes he placed his music above personal relationships, only to find that many other rappers share the same story.  This verse powerfully portrays Tom’s turmoil, self doubt, and the consequences of his past.

        In the chorus Tom reflects on the realization that his life has veered in the wrong direction, symbolized by his “dance with the Devil” and the “highway to hell.” He acknowledges the gravity of his choices, caught between continuing down a self-destructive path or making the decision to become a better person. The line “This is my time to decide” highlights the critical moment he’s facing, where he must choose between materialism and inner growth. Repeating the phrase “This is not the way” underscores his deep dissatisfaction with who he’s become, and his struggle to align his life with the person he truly wants to be. This chorus encapsulates his internal conflict, expressing both the pain of his current reality and his desire for change.

        In the second verse Tom MacDonald reflects on the poor choices he’s made, from engaging in shallow relationships to associating with questionable influences. Despite his love for someone who now hates him, he continues making destructive decisions, feeling the weight of guilt and responsibility for his actions. He acknowledges the presence of faith in his life but feels too overwhelmed by his past mistakes to forgive himself. The line “I don’t have the time or the energy” captures his emotional exhaustion, suggesting that he’s trapped in a cycle of regret and self-doubt. Even when he attempts to be good or change, he feels unsupported, as others around him continue down the same negative paths. This verse highlights his internal conflict, recognizing the harm he’s done while feeling stuck, unable to fully break free from the spiral of bad decisions.        

      In the third verse of “Wannabe,” Tom expresses his unwavering determination to succeed as a rapper, revealing that it’s the only path he can see for himself. He bluntly states that if he doesn’t “make it big by 30 Ima kill myself,” he doesn’t want to continue living, showing how deeply tied his sense of purpose and existence are to his music career. Tom dismisses the idea of living a conventional life with a “real job,” emphasizing that he’s built for the extravagance and chaos of a life in the spotlight. He describes feeling stuck in a “quiet grey area,” emotionally detached and uncertain about his future, yet still driven by his ambition. Surrounded by people he sees as “wannabes,” he sets himself apart, knowing he’s genuinely talented and deserving of success. This verse highlights the intensity of his commitment to his dream and his refusal to settle for anything less.  

        

        Overall, “Wannabe” is a raw and introspective exploration of Tom MacDonald’s inner turmoil as he struggles with identity, past mistakes, and the desire for redemption. In the intro and chorus, he reflects on how his life has veered off course, caught between the wrong choices he’s made and his deep longing to be a better person. The first verse delves into his personal demons, showing how past decisions have left him feeling disconnected from himself and uncertain about his future. In the second verse, he recognizes the damage his actions have caused but feels trapped by guilt and the lack of support from those around him. By the third verse, Tom’s focus shifts to his ultimate goal—becoming a successful rapper—which he sees as his only way to truly live, rejecting any other life path. Throughout the song, Tom grapples with self-doubt, ambition, and the weight of his choices, presenting a powerful narrative of a man torn between who he is and who he desperately wants to become.

Till Next Time Friends,

Words by Ali

Song Review: I Can’t Sleep by Tom MacDonald

 It's Tom MacDonald Friday!

        I’m coming back for another Tom MacDonald song review.  This week will be looking at Tom’s song I Can’t Sleep.  I have posted a link to the music video.  If you have never seen it, I recommend clicking the link just below and checking it out before we get started on the review and analysis.

I Can't Sleep Music Video

I've been runnin' outta different ways to pass time
The devil's work is done by idle hands, and I've been bored since last night
Jump into the whip and start to drive like it's my last ride
Lookin' for a bridge where I can crash, see if I can fly, uh
Hit my head against the wall 'til I got black eyes

Sittin' on the sofa, drinking soda, watchin' plants die
It's stupid, but I'm scared that I might lose it and I can't cry
The devil smells the tears and he been chilling here, don't ask why
The garbage can been full and hella pizza boxes stacked high
Hit the Ativan and now I'm anxious out my damn mind

Got 80 grand in clothin', a couple chains, and a rad life
But all I'm really after is happiness money can't buy
I'm stressin' every second to drop a record my fans like
Pukin' from the pressure, I'm throwin' up like some gang signs
And standin' on the mountain that an average man can't climb
Waitin' for an avalanche or landslide

I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh

And I'm runnin' outta ways to fight the bad thoughts I can't stop
Cigarettes are fillin' up the empty cans and plant pots
I tried to keep my demons locked away with chains and padlocks
They found a way to break out of the cage and they won't back off
Every day I call my parents: me, my mom and dad talk
I tell 'em that I'm fine, but it all changes when I hang up

There's whiskey in the cupboard I've been tryna keep my hands off
It's callin' to me every day like, "Come on, Tom, let's have shots"

Mansions in my head, I hop the fence into the backyard 

Lookin’ through the windows at all the rooms that my past haunts
Fillin' up my laptop with last words and chat logs
There's ashes on my mattress 'cause I smoke until I crash hard

Think I lost my mind, I'm tryna find it in these sad songs
Followin' my footprints, but the tracks stop
Fightin' with the devil, but he didn't think I'd last long
But I ain't backin' down, I'ma stand strong
I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh

My mind is racing, I'm going crazy
I wanna hide in my bed
I think that maybe something can save me
But I don't know what that thing is
I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh

        Have you watched the video?  Read the lyrics?  As long as you’ve done one, we can be on our way.  We’ll start by looking at the first part of the song. 

I've been runnin' outta different ways to pass time

The devil's work is done by idle hands, and I've been bored since last night

Jump into the whip and start to drive like it's my last ride

Lookin' for a bridge where I can crash, see if I can fly, uh

Hit my head against the wall 'til I got black eyes

        Here we see Tom’s reflection on his struggle with sobriety, and staying sober.  The lines about boredom and lack of direction suggest that without a constructive outlet for his energy, he is vulnerable to falling back into bad habits. It emphasizes the difficulty of finding health distractions and implies that time can feel overwhelming when one is in recovery.  The “devil’s work” symbolizes the negative influences that can resurface when one is not actively engaging in positive activities. The mention of being “bored since last night” highlights a prolonged state of unease, reinforcing the idea that his struggles with sobriety are ongoing and persistent.  

        The metaphor of driving “like it’s my last ride” reflects a desire to break free from his current reality, possibly hinting at self-destructive tendencies. It captures the internal conflict of wanting to stay sober while grappling with the temptation to revert to old behaviors.  The juxtaposition of “crash” and “see if I can fly” evokes the idea of taking risks, suggesting that Tom is at a crossroads where he contemplates both self-destruction and the hope for liberation. This reflects the chaotic nature of his mind, oscillating between despair and the desire for freedom.

        In the second verse:

        Sittin' on the sofa, drinking soda, watchin' plants die
        It's stupid, but I'm scared that I might lose it and I can't cry
        The devil smells the tears and he been chilling here, don't ask why
        The garbage can been full and hella pizza boxes stacked high
        Hit the Ativan and now I'm anxious out my damn mind

       Here we see Tom delving into the emotional and mental health challenges that accompany his journey with sobriety, and illustrate the impact it can have on one’s ability to maintain that sobriety.  This opening line sets a scene of stagnation and neglect. The image of “watchin’ plants die” symbolizes the decline of life and vitality, mirroring Tom’s own mental state. It suggests a sense of hopelessness and disengagement from the world, which can often accompany struggles with mental health.  The use of the word “stupid” reflects his self-criticism and frustration with himself, a common experience in those dealing with mental health issues. 

        The inability to cry indicates a suppression of emotions, which can be detrimental to one’s mental well-being, especially during sobriety. It highlights the struggle of feeling overwhelmed yet unable to express those feelings, creating a cycle of anxiety and despair.  The idea that the devil “smells the tears” implies that vulnerability and emotional pain can attract destructive influences. It illustrates how unresolved emotions can lead to temptation, making it harder to stay sober when one is not addressing their mental health.  While medication can be helpful, Tom’s admission of feeling “anxious out my damn mind” indicates that even with medication, he is still battling significant anxiety. It underscores the challenges of finding the right balance in managing mental health while striving for sobriety, as reliance on substances—whether illicit or prescribed—can complicate recovery.

        In the third verse:

        Got 80 grand in clothin', a couple chains, and a rad life
        But all I'm really after is happiness money can't buy
        I'm stressin' every second to drop a record my fans like
        Pukin' from the pressure, I'm throwin' up like some gang signs
        And standin' on the mountain that an average man can't climb
        Waitin' for an avalanche or landslide

        Here we see Tom reflecting on the disparity between material wealth and true happiness.  The lyrics convey a powerful message about the limitations of money in achieving fulfillment, emphasizing that authentic happiness comes from within and is not tied to external possessions.  The opening line lists material possessions that suggest a high level of wealth and success. However, despite this outward display of affluence, there is an implicit sense of emptiness. The phrase “a rad life” is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, indicating that despite the superficial indicators of success, something crucial is missing in his life.  “But all I’m really after is happiness money can’t buy,” this line serves as a turning point, contrasting the previous mention of his possessions with a profound truth: that genuine contentment and joy are not commodities. This acknowledgment highlights a common theme in discussions about wealth, suggesting that inner peace and fulfillment stem from intangible aspects of life, such as relationships, self-acceptance, and personal growth.  The constant stress of trying to produce work that resonates with others can detract from his sense of self-worth and happiness. It illustrates how the pursuit of success—often glorified in popular culture—can lead to anxiety and dissatisfaction, detracting from the joy that should accompany creative expression. 

          The visceral imagery of “pukin’ from the pressure” captures the overwhelming stress and anxiety that accompany his career. This metaphor suggests that the weight of expectations is not only mentally taxing but also physically distressing. The comparison to “gang signs” adds a layer of complexity, perhaps implying that the pressure feels like a dangerous game, one fraught with risks and potential consequences. This further emphasizes that success, while often perceived as glamorous, can come with significant personal costs.  The metaphor of standing on a mountain implies that he has reached a level of achievement that many aspire to, yet it comes with its own set of struggles. It suggests that while he may appear to have it all, the journey is fraught with difficulties that are not visible to outsiders. This creates a sense of isolation, as he grapples with pressures that others may not understand.  The concluding imagery evokes a sense of impending doom or collapse. Tom is in a precarious position, aware that his current state of stress and pressure could lead to a breakdown. This metaphor can be interpreted as a reflection of his mental state—anticipating a crisis as a result of his relentless pursuit of validation and success. It reinforces the idea that despite his material wealth, he is not in a stable or content place.

        In the hook:

        I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
        I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
        And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
        I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh

        The hook of “I Can’t Sleep” encapsulates the central themes of the song and ties together the various struggles Tom has expressed throughout the lyrics. It serves as an emotional anchor that highlights his mental health challenges, the pressures of success, and the profound sense of isolation he feels.  The inability to sleep often reflects anxiety and restlessness, both of which Tom has explored in previous verses. Being “out of my head” suggests that his thoughts are racing and overwhelming, connecting back to the earlier imagery of feeling lost and unable to find peace despite material success. This line establishes a direct link to the struggle for mental clarity and the emotional toll that his circumstances have taken on him.  

        The feeling of “losing my mind” resonates with the pressures he faces in his career and personal life, as discussed in previous analyses. The line about no one understanding underscores the disconnect between his external success and internal struggles. The inability to breathe is a powerful metaphor for the suffocating pressure he experiences, tying back to the earlier discussions of stress and the expectations placed upon him. The phrase “over the edge” implies a precarious state, suggesting that he is teetering on the brink of collapse, echoing the imagery of standing on a mountain and waiting for an avalanche or landslide.

        In the fourth verse:

        And I'm runnin' outta ways to fight the bad thoughts I can't stop
        Cigarettes are fillin' up the empty cans and plant pots
        I tried to keep my demons locked away with chains and padlocks
        They found a way to break out of the cage and they won't back off
        Every day I call my parents: me, my mom and dad talk
        I tell 'em that I'm fine, but it all changes when I hang up

        This opening line captures a sense of desperation and helplessness in dealing with persistent negative thoughts. The phrase “runnin’ outta ways” implies that Tom has been actively trying to combat these thoughts but is losing the battle. This conveys the emotional exhaustion that often accompanies sobriety, where the mental struggle can feel relentless and overwhelming.  Cigarettes, often associated with unhealthy coping mechanisms, represent his attempts to fill the void left by negative emotions. The “empty cans and plant pots” evoke a sense of neglect and decay, suggesting that while he may be trying to cope, his surroundings are a reflection of his internal state—disordered and unfulfilled.  . 

        The metaphor of “chains and padlocks” symbolizes his attempts to suppress his negative emotions and personal issues. However, it also suggests that he understands the difficulty of this task, as it implies that his demons are formidable and not easily contained.  “Every day I call my parents: me, my mom and dad talk”: This line introduces a moment of connection and support, suggesting that Tom seeks solace in his family relationships. However, it also indicates a routine that may provide temporary relief from his struggles.  By claiming to be “fine,” he is potentially masking his true feelings, indicating a fear of vulnerability or concern about worrying his parents. The phrase “it all changes when I hang up” reveals that once the conversation ends, he is left alone with his thoughts and struggles, illustrating the loneliness that can accompany recovery.

        In the fifth verse:

        There's whiskey in the cupboard I've been tryna keep my hands off
        It's callin' to me every day like, "Come on, Tom, let's have shots"
        Mansions in my head, I hop the fence into the backyard 
        Lookin’ through the windows at all the rooms that my past haunts
        Fillin' up my laptop with last words and chat logs
        There's ashes on my mattress 'cause I smoke until I crash hard

        This verse vividly illustrates Tom’s ongoing struggle with temptation and the constant pull of past habits.  The whiskey symbolizes the allure of substance use, representing a familiar temptation that Tom battles daily. The phrase “tryna keep my hands off” highlights the effort he must exert to resist this temptation, illustrating the ongoing challenge of staying sober.  Personifying the whiskey as calling to him emphasizes the seductive nature of addiction. This line reveals the persistent nature of cravings that can accompany sobriety, making it clear that Tom is continually reminded of his past habits, creating an internal struggle.  

        The “mansions” symbolize idealized memories or a sense of longing for a time when life seemed easier or more fulfilling. However, “hopping the fence” implies a sense of trespassing into these memories, acknowledging that they can be both comforting and dangerous.  The metaphor of looking through windows suggests a sense of detachment, as if he is an outsider observing his own history. The “rooms” signify different aspects of his past, perhaps indicating the complexity and multifaceted nature of his struggles.  

        In the sixth verse:

        Think I lost my mind, I'm tryna find it in these sad songs
        Followin' my footprints, but the tracks stop
        Fightin' with the devil, but he didn't think I'd last long
        But I ain't backin' down, I'ma stand strong
        I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
        I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
        And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
        I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh

        In this verse, Tom expresses his determination to push forward despite the overwhelming challenges he faces.  The reference to “sad songs” indicates that he connects with his emotions through art, using it as a means to cope with his struggles. However, the notion of having “lost my mind” also reflects a sense of despair, illustrating the emotional toll that his journey takes on him.  The footprints represent his journey and past decisions, yet the stopping of tracks indicates moments of stagnation or uncertainty. It reflects the struggle of moving forward when faced with emotional and mental barriers.  

        The acknowledgment that the devil “didn’t think I’d last long” speaks to the doubts he encounters, both from within and possibly from others. However, this line also serves as a declaration of resilience, emphasizing his determination to defy those expectations.  This concluding line in the verse reinforces Tom’s resolve to persist despite the struggles. It is an empowering declaration that contrasts with the feelings of despair presented earlier. It signifies his commitment to facing challenges head-on and refusing to succumb to the pressures he experiences, embodying a spirit of perseverance that is essential in his journey toward recovery.

        In the seventh verse:

        My mind is racing, I'm going crazy
        I wanna hide in my bed
        I think that maybe something can save me
        But I don't know what that thing is
        I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
        I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
        And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
        I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh

        In this final verse, Tom encapsulates the duality of his desire to retreat from the world and his underlying hope for salvation.  The imagery of a racing mind conveys a sense of chaos and confusion, illustrating how difficult it can be to maintain clarity and calm during times of stress and anxiety. It emphasizes the mental strain that accompanies his sobriety journey.  The bed represents a place of safety and comfort, indicating that when overwhelmed, his instinct is to retreat from the world. This desire to hide reflects a common response to emotional distress, where withdrawal becomes a coping mechanism. 

        The acknowledgment that “something can save me” implies that he is not entirely resigned to his struggles; rather, he is open to the possibility of finding a solution or a way out of his pain. This quest for salvation hints at a desire for healing and betterment.  The uncertainty expressed in this line reveals a struggle many face when grappling with mental health challenges. While he is searching for something or someone to help him, the lack of clarity on what that might be highlights the complexity of recovery. It reflects the often ambiguous nature of healing, where the path forward may not be immediately evident.

    That’s it for today’s Tom MacDonald song review.  Hope you enjoyed my thoughts, and analysis of his song I Can’t Sleep.  If you have your own thoughts and opinions please feel free to comment them down below.  I’d love to hear what you have to say.  I’ll see you next week with more Tom MacDonald.  Hangover Gang Forever.

Till Next Time Friends,

Words by Ali