It's Tom MacDonald Friday!
I’m coming back for another Tom MacDonald song review. This week will be looking at Tom’s song I Can’t Sleep. I have posted a link to the music video. If you have never seen it, I recommend clicking the link just below and checking it out before we get started on the review and analysis.
The devil's work is done by idle hands, and I've been bored since last night
Jump into the whip and start to drive like it's my last ride
Lookin' for a bridge where I can crash, see if I can fly, uh
Hit my head against the wall 'til I got black eyes
It's stupid, but I'm scared that I might lose it and I can't cry
The devil smells the tears and he been chilling here, don't ask why
The garbage can been full and hella pizza boxes stacked high
Hit the Ativan and now I'm anxious out my damn mind
Got 80 grand in clothin', a couple chains, and a rad life
But all I'm really after is happiness money can't buy
I'm stressin' every second to drop a record my fans like
Pukin' from the pressure, I'm throwin' up like some gang signs
And standin' on the mountain that an average man can't climb
Waitin' for an avalanche or landslide
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh
Cigarettes are fillin' up the empty cans and plant pots
I tried to keep my demons locked away with chains and padlocks
They found a way to break out of the cage and they won't back off
Every day I call my parents: me, my mom and dad talk
I tell 'em that I'm fine, but it all changes when I hang up
There's whiskey in the cupboard I've been tryna keep my hands off
It's callin' to me every day like, "Come on, Tom, let's have shots"
Fillin' up my laptop with last words and chat logs
There's ashes on my mattress 'cause I smoke until I crash hard
Think I lost my mind, I'm tryna find it in these sad songs
Followin' my footprints, but the tracks stop
Fightin' with the devil, but he didn't think I'd last long
But I ain't backin' down, I'ma stand strong
I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh
I wanna hide in my bed
I think that maybe something can save me
But I don't know what that thing is
I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh
I've been runnin' outta different ways to pass timeThe devil's work is done by idle hands, and I've been bored since last nightJump into the whip and start to drive like it's my last rideLookin' for a bridge where I can crash, see if I can fly, uhHit my head against the wall 'til I got black eyes
Here we see Tom’s reflection on his struggle with sobriety, and staying sober. The lines about boredom and lack of direction suggest that without a constructive outlet for his energy, he is vulnerable to falling back into bad habits. It emphasizes the difficulty of finding health distractions and implies that time can feel overwhelming when one is in recovery. The “devil’s work” symbolizes the negative influences that can resurface when one is not actively engaging in positive activities. The mention of being “bored since last night” highlights a prolonged state of unease, reinforcing the idea that his struggles with sobriety are ongoing and persistent.
The metaphor of driving “like it’s my last ride” reflects a desire to break free from his current reality, possibly hinting at self-destructive tendencies. It captures the internal conflict of wanting to stay sober while grappling with the temptation to revert to old behaviors. The juxtaposition of “crash” and “see if I can fly” evokes the idea of taking risks, suggesting that Tom is at a crossroads where he contemplates both self-destruction and the hope for liberation. This reflects the chaotic nature of his mind, oscillating between despair and the desire for freedom.
In the second verse:
Sittin' on the sofa, drinking soda, watchin' plants die
It's stupid, but I'm scared that I might lose it and I can't cry
The devil smells the tears and he been chilling here, don't ask why
The garbage can been full and hella pizza boxes stacked high
Hit the Ativan and now I'm anxious out my damn mind
Here we see Tom delving into the emotional and mental health challenges that accompany his journey with sobriety, and illustrate the impact it can have on one’s ability to maintain that sobriety. This opening line sets a scene of stagnation and neglect. The image of “watchin’ plants die” symbolizes the decline of life and vitality, mirroring Tom’s own mental state. It suggests a sense of hopelessness and disengagement from the world, which can often accompany struggles with mental health. The use of the word “stupid” reflects his self-criticism and frustration with himself, a common experience in those dealing with mental health issues.
The inability to cry indicates a suppression of emotions, which can be detrimental to one’s mental well-being, especially during sobriety. It highlights the struggle of feeling overwhelmed yet unable to express those feelings, creating a cycle of anxiety and despair. The idea that the devil “smells the tears” implies that vulnerability and emotional pain can attract destructive influences. It illustrates how unresolved emotions can lead to temptation, making it harder to stay sober when one is not addressing their mental health. While medication can be helpful, Tom’s admission of feeling “anxious out my damn mind” indicates that even with medication, he is still battling significant anxiety. It underscores the challenges of finding the right balance in managing mental health while striving for sobriety, as reliance on substances—whether illicit or prescribed—can complicate recovery.
In the third verse:
Got 80 grand in clothin', a couple chains, and a rad life
But all I'm really after is happiness money can't buy
I'm stressin' every second to drop a record my fans like
Pukin' from the pressure, I'm throwin' up like some gang signs
And standin' on the mountain that an average man can't climb
Waitin' for an avalanche or landslide
Here we see Tom reflecting on the disparity between material wealth and true happiness. The lyrics convey a powerful message about the limitations of money in achieving fulfillment, emphasizing that authentic happiness comes from within and is not tied to external possessions. The opening line lists material possessions that suggest a high level of wealth and success. However, despite this outward display of affluence, there is an implicit sense of emptiness. The phrase “a rad life” is somewhat tongue-in-cheek, indicating that despite the superficial indicators of success, something crucial is missing in his life. “But all I’m really after is happiness money can’t buy,” this line serves as a turning point, contrasting the previous mention of his possessions with a profound truth: that genuine contentment and joy are not commodities. This acknowledgment highlights a common theme in discussions about wealth, suggesting that inner peace and fulfillment stem from intangible aspects of life, such as relationships, self-acceptance, and personal growth. The constant stress of trying to produce work that resonates with others can detract from his sense of self-worth and happiness. It illustrates how the pursuit of success—often glorified in popular culture—can lead to anxiety and dissatisfaction, detracting from the joy that should accompany creative expression.
The visceral imagery of “pukin’ from the pressure” captures the overwhelming stress and anxiety that accompany his career. This metaphor suggests that the weight of expectations is not only mentally taxing but also physically distressing. The comparison to “gang signs” adds a layer of complexity, perhaps implying that the pressure feels like a dangerous game, one fraught with risks and potential consequences. This further emphasizes that success, while often perceived as glamorous, can come with significant personal costs. The metaphor of standing on a mountain implies that he has reached a level of achievement that many aspire to, yet it comes with its own set of struggles. It suggests that while he may appear to have it all, the journey is fraught with difficulties that are not visible to outsiders. This creates a sense of isolation, as he grapples with pressures that others may not understand. The concluding imagery evokes a sense of impending doom or collapse. Tom is in a precarious position, aware that his current state of stress and pressure could lead to a breakdown. This metaphor can be interpreted as a reflection of his mental state—anticipating a crisis as a result of his relentless pursuit of validation and success. It reinforces the idea that despite his material wealth, he is not in a stable or content place.
In the hook:
I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh
And I'm runnin' outta ways to fight the bad thoughts I can't stop
Cigarettes are fillin' up the empty cans and plant pots
I tried to keep my demons locked away with chains and padlocks
They found a way to break out of the cage and they won't back off
Every day I call my parents: me, my mom and dad talk
I tell 'em that I'm fine, but it all changes when I hang up
This opening line captures a sense of desperation and helplessness in dealing with persistent negative thoughts. The phrase “runnin’ outta ways” implies that Tom has been actively trying to combat these thoughts but is losing the battle. This conveys the emotional exhaustion that often accompanies sobriety, where the mental struggle can feel relentless and overwhelming. Cigarettes, often associated with unhealthy coping mechanisms, represent his attempts to fill the void left by negative emotions. The “empty cans and plant pots” evoke a sense of neglect and decay, suggesting that while he may be trying to cope, his surroundings are a reflection of his internal state—disordered and unfulfilled. .
The metaphor of “chains and padlocks” symbolizes his attempts to suppress his negative emotions and personal issues. However, it also suggests that he understands the difficulty of this task, as it implies that his demons are formidable and not easily contained. “Every day I call my parents: me, my mom and dad talk”: This line introduces a moment of connection and support, suggesting that Tom seeks solace in his family relationships. However, it also indicates a routine that may provide temporary relief from his struggles. By claiming to be “fine,” he is potentially masking his true feelings, indicating a fear of vulnerability or concern about worrying his parents. The phrase “it all changes when I hang up” reveals that once the conversation ends, he is left alone with his thoughts and struggles, illustrating the loneliness that can accompany recovery.
In the fifth verse:
There's whiskey in the cupboard I've been tryna keep my hands off
It's callin' to me every day like, "Come on, Tom, let's have shots"
Mansions in my head, I hop the fence into the backyard
Lookin’ through the windows at all the rooms that my past haunts
Fillin' up my laptop with last words and chat logs
There's ashes on my mattress 'cause I smoke until I crash hard
This verse vividly illustrates Tom’s ongoing struggle with temptation and the constant pull of past habits. The whiskey symbolizes the allure of substance use, representing a familiar temptation that Tom battles daily. The phrase “tryna keep my hands off” highlights the effort he must exert to resist this temptation, illustrating the ongoing challenge of staying sober. Personifying the whiskey as calling to him emphasizes the seductive nature of addiction. This line reveals the persistent nature of cravings that can accompany sobriety, making it clear that Tom is continually reminded of his past habits, creating an internal struggle.
The “mansions” symbolize idealized memories or a sense of longing for a time when life seemed easier or more fulfilling. However, “hopping the fence” implies a sense of trespassing into these memories, acknowledging that they can be both comforting and dangerous. The metaphor of looking through windows suggests a sense of detachment, as if he is an outsider observing his own history. The “rooms” signify different aspects of his past, perhaps indicating the complexity and multifaceted nature of his struggles.
In the sixth verse:
Think I lost my mind, I'm tryna find it in these sad songs
Followin' my footprints, but the tracks stop
Fightin' with the devil, but he didn't think I'd last long
But I ain't backin' down, I'ma stand strong
I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh
In this verse, Tom expresses his determination to push forward despite the overwhelming challenges he faces. The reference to “sad songs” indicates that he connects with his emotions through art, using it as a means to cope with his struggles. However, the notion of having “lost my mind” also reflects a sense of despair, illustrating the emotional toll that his journey takes on him. The footprints represent his journey and past decisions, yet the stopping of tracks indicates moments of stagnation or uncertainty. It reflects the struggle of moving forward when faced with emotional and mental barriers.
The acknowledgment that the devil “didn’t think I’d last long” speaks to the doubts he encounters, both from within and possibly from others. However, this line also serves as a declaration of resilience, emphasizing his determination to defy those expectations. This concluding line in the verse reinforces Tom’s resolve to persist despite the struggles. It is an empowering declaration that contrasts with the feelings of despair presented earlier. It signifies his commitment to facing challenges head-on and refusing to succumb to the pressures he experiences, embodying a spirit of perseverance that is essential in his journey toward recovery.
In the seventh verse:
My mind is racing, I'm going crazy
I wanna hide in my bed
I think that maybe something can save me
But I don't know what that thing is
I can't sleep, I'm out of my head
I'm losin' my mind and no one understands, whoa-oh
And I can't breathe, I'm over the edge
I'm dyin' inside, I'm afraid how this might end, whoa-oh
In this final verse, Tom encapsulates the duality of his desire to retreat from the world and his underlying hope for salvation. The imagery of a racing mind conveys a sense of chaos and confusion, illustrating how difficult it can be to maintain clarity and calm during times of stress and anxiety. It emphasizes the mental strain that accompanies his sobriety journey. The bed represents a place of safety and comfort, indicating that when overwhelmed, his instinct is to retreat from the world. This desire to hide reflects a common response to emotional distress, where withdrawal becomes a coping mechanism.
The acknowledgment that “something can save me” implies that he is not entirely resigned to his struggles; rather, he is open to the possibility of finding a solution or a way out of his pain. This quest for salvation hints at a desire for healing and betterment. The uncertainty expressed in this line reveals a struggle many face when grappling with mental health challenges. While he is searching for something or someone to help him, the lack of clarity on what that might be highlights the complexity of recovery. It reflects the often ambiguous nature of healing, where the path forward may not be immediately evident.
That’s it for today’s Tom MacDonald song review. Hope you enjoyed my thoughts, and analysis of his song I Can’t Sleep. If you have your own thoughts and opinions please feel free to comment them down below. I’d love to hear what you have to say. I’ll see you next week with more Tom MacDonald. Hangover Gang Forever.
Till Next Time Friends,
Words by Ali
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